I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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