maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
