I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
