In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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