His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
