I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Randomize
