gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
she told me i tasted like america
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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