a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
