He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
