So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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