Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
