I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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