SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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