the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
it glows. i had to have it.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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