Already got asked if we're dating
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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