new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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