I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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