everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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