No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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