i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
