Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
