at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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