how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
