If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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