question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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