uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Randomize
