Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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