THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
