So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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