just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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