So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
