It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
