i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
