I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Randomize