when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
