Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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