5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Come share oat with me in your robe
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Never underestimate the power of titties
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