hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
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