Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize
