i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Found your dick twin last night
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
