he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
