sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Randomize
