I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
