then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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