i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
