You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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