Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
