Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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