I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Congratulations! We have a period
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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