The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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