Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
