she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
