Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
she was so not down for the gang bang
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
