Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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